Merry #$&@*$& Christmas !

Merry Christmas... kids were sick...spent the day just hanging around the house.


Wrote this little poem to sum up the day...

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the entertainment center with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of expensive toys danced in their heads.
And Mama in her 'G string, and I in my cap,
had just passed out for a long winter's nap.

When out in the sun room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.

Away to the sun room I flew like a flash,
slid on the hardwood and almost fell on my ass.

The moon on the breast of the yard soaked with rain
hit my beer goggles with a sharp shooting pain,
when, what to my wondering eyes did I face,
but Emily puking all over the place.

As the first shreads of vomit spewed out so quick,
I knew in a moment this kid was sick.
More rapid than eagles, her courses they came,
and she heaved and heaved and called out our names.

Holy s##t, holy s##t!
Was all I could say!
as Marion echoed my vocabulary this day!
To the top of the couch!
To the top of the wall!
Puke was everywhere, had to be careful not to slip in it,
or you’d fall!"

As dry heaves started, the wind she would suck it,
Marion said, your clothes need to get cleaned…
but at that moment I said.. aww f##k it.

This puking continued until past 4 am
if not in bucket, in this puke we would swim.
And then, in a heartbeat, I heard down the hall
Annie running loudly, even thou her steps may be small.

”Daddy”, “I think its time to go see if Santa came”, she said,
I felt so damn tired, I thought I was dead.

Still covered in puke, from my head to my foot,
and smelling so vile, I too wanted to boot.
Yet Annie was excited as she jumped on my back,
and she could care less that Emily had hacked.

Her eyes--how they twinkled! Her dimples, how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
and yes she had snot running down her nose, and
if not for thousands of tissues, it would be down to her toes.

Through the darkness I still noticed the smile of her teeth,
and glow of christmas encircled her head like a wreath.
She smiled ear to ear and kept punching me in the belly,
and she didn’t care at all that my clothes were still smelly.
She was bubbly and warm, and in a great mood,
and I laughed when I saw her, in spite of the upchucked food.

A wink of my eye and a twist of my head
I could tell by the clock there was no going back to bed.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my wife,
just to make sure she filled all the stockings,
so I didn’t end up looking like Barney Fife.

And rolling over next to the puking Emily,
she gave me nod, as she smiled with glee,
They sprang down the stairs giving a hollar and a hooter,
But I heard them exclaim, EWW, Santa puked on my scooter.

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"